A Friday in “pétasses-land“

Here is a reincarnation of the famous Portalis, even if most French law students don't even know who he was since it isn't in the curriculum.
Dear readers, after a particularly dreadful Friday in “pétasses-land“ I am officially sick of French legal studies, not to mention some of the brainless people I am being forced to work with on a daily basis. But I wouldn't like to sound mean or anything, right? THIS doesn't target anyone... see it more as a general theory of the average French law student.... Anyway, here is a little list of things that might indicate your continental law-rat potential:
1/ Fundamentally, you are stupid but nonetheless like to learn things without understanding what they imply. Skilled as a monkey.
2/ You think any problem must be discussed two years before making a decision and agree that the law should be based more on general theories rather than on the wisdom of judges. Slow as a donkey.
3/ You love licking the balls of your seminar tutors, particularly when they are stupid.
4/ You know the Anglo-saxon legal world would reject you due to point 1 even if you would go to hell before admitting it.
5/ You don't know how to speak nor write English, even if you are convinced of the contrary.
6/ You usually don't have much of a sexual life but read the Code Civil every evening instead!
If you do possess one or more of the qualities above, you potentially will love FRENCH law.

That's what happens if you draft too many pre-legal reports in the Parisian national Assembly, wich does in fact look more like a national stable, if you ask me.