I Love you… Now what?

Publié le 10 juin 2010 par Yoya

I am not a romantic at heart but Pierre’s (Peter as we call him) article made me wonder what love is, what is its meaning? I guess a lot of great people (writers, philosophers) already tried to answer that question… I am certainly not what you can call a “great mind” but this is what I think about the question…
First I thought I would google it and see what the definition of love…is
And this is a little bit long, but it’s what you find in the dictionary:

love
[luhv] Show IPA noun, verb, loved, lov•ing.
–noun
1.a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, asfor a parent, child, or friend.
3.sexual passion or desire.
4.a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person;sweetheart.
5.(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection,or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6.a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7.sexual intercourse; copulation.
8.( initial capital letter ) a personification of sexual affection,as Eros or Cupid.
9.affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love ofone’s neighbor.
10.strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: herlove of books.
11.the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
12.the benevolent affection of god for His creatures, or thereverent affection due from them to God.
13.Chiefly Tennis . a score of zero; nothing.
14.a word formerly used in communications to represent theletter L.
–verb (used with object)
15.to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.
16.to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for(another person).
17.to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to lovemusic.
18.to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.
19.to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.
20.to have sexual intercourse with.
–verb (used without object)
21.to have love or affection for another person; be in love.
—Verb phrase
22.love up, to hug and cuddle: She loves him up every chanceshe gets.
—Idioms
23.for love,
a.out of affection or liking; for pleasure.
b.without compensation; gratuitously: He took care of thepoor for love.
24.for the love of, in consideration of; for the sake of: For thelove of mercy, stop that noise.
25.in love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: ayouth always in love.
26.in love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (a person,idea, occupation, etc.); enamored of: in love with the girlnext door; in love with one’s work.
27.make love,
a.to embrace and kiss as lovers.
b.to engage in sexual activity.
28.no love lost, dislike; animosity: There was no love lostbetween the two brothers.

So according to this definition love means everything and nothing… Plus we can’t control it, you don’t chose to love or dislike… but also there are different level of affection, you can love, adore, like, care,…

The meaning of seems to change according to the context, people, language… And just the fact that I am doing this article in English changes it all… Because the word “love”, is not used in the same way in English, as the word “j’aime” in French. First of all when you want to say “j’aime bien” in englsi you’ll use another word that is “like” so just right there, we have a major difference.

Also we use the verb “love” for everything, for instance you could say: “I love sweet potatoes”, “I love cinema”, “I love you”… And yet the level of affection you have in those 3 sentences is beyond comparison… And I can’t help but wonder if that doesn’t demystify the word “love”, and that its meaning, when it comes to Love with a big L, is not diminished???

If your boyfriend loves you as much as a sweet potato that is not good, but if he loves a sweet potatoes as much as you, well it ain’t better!!!


The question is, if love has no definition, and if its powe,r when it comes to feelings for another person, is not as strong as we thought it was, How can you know you’re loved. And for that matter how can you know you truly love, or that you love the other one enough and according to his or her expectations of love?

Because, we personally have a definition of what is love, we know what it represents for us, and on witch level we place it… When the person you love (according to your rating of love, if I may say so) tells you he loves you too, how do you know the meaning he puts behind it??? Maybe it is not a big deal… Or maybe it is too much of a deal and he might ask you to marry him (scary!! I should make an article about marriage one day, but you might not like it ;) )

But back to my point, So, how can you know a person loves you even when she says she does, when she obviously doesn’t have the same definition of love as you?? Tricky hm…

I admit wondering about that sort of thing is quite stupid, because there is no answer, and that everything should be based on happiness in the present and trust!! Which I believe but still… Someone could get hurt… Or truly disappointed… realizing the other one loves him or her less than she or he thinks he or she did…
Why didn’t we invent a specific word for that, a word that would simply mean “you mean the world to me right now” … But is that possible… Even for the simplest thing you have many word, let’s come back to our sweet potato for instance, it is also a vegetable, a root, a plant, a tuber… So when it comes to emotion I guess the task is just impossible…

Love seems to be untamable… it overpowers you and you can’t fight back, you have no choice but to surrender and live with this overwhelming feeling… Of course it’s not always bad when the person you love loves you back, in a way that you can understand and that is in harmony with your way or comprehending love.

Love is mysterious, and maybe that is why we love to love, and to be loved, because we never really know why someone loves us, and I guess we don’t really know either why we love someone…

I leave you now with those few quotes of greats minds who have expressed (better that I did) their own feeling about love.


Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein


I don’t wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.
Javan


If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.
Michel de Montaigne


Love is always bestowed as a gift – freely, willingly and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love.
Leo Buscaglia